A last resort - not sure what to do?

[TwinDad]

Hey Julia,

When my W and I sold our home (that I designed and built for us.....ughhhh), it was a very "bumpy" time of our life. We were not sep and my W seemed to go back and forth between getting a place togather and using this as a place to make a clean break. She chose the second option. It is important to undertstand we decided to sell our home before we were looking at sep, it was just a good decision for us and the kids (school districts and activities).

The main thing we talked about was what to list it for and how we were going to split the proceeds. Her initial take was that I didn't deserve any of the proceeds since she paid for the mortgage (discounting the fact that I paid all of the remianing bills and groceries, etc). I insisted that I contributed to this household equally and I deserved 50% of the proceeds. She was mad at first but then agreed. Sometimes shw would say that I was being greedy, to which I would respond, I would like nothing better than to put all of my proceeds into a house that we were getting together.

About a year and a half prior to that I actually consulted with a lawyer to discuss my rights. My wife would always threaten Divorce whenever we would get in a disagreement and I thought I better know what this entails. So I set up a free consult just to become educated. It was very enlightening. I would highly recommend this. I even told the lawyer that I had no intention to divorce but felt I needed to be educated. It gave me a lot of confidence.

During your meeting with your H, he might actually say stuff that indicates that he is not happy about selling the place. I would just use this as an opportunity to validate him (while you are probably thinking, "then why in the world are we doing this then"....at least I was).

I hope this helps, let me know if you were looking for advice from a different perspective or if you had any questions....I didn't want to ramble on too much