Just read the news... I don't have anything else to add than what the rest of the friends here said.
One sidenote and please don't get me wrong: If he is so dead serious he doesn't want to be married to you then let him go. Do NOT get yourself caught up in a power play using the divorce papers as your way to pressure him. I realise your anger and disappointment -to be honest, I am thinking I 'll be walking on your steps in about 2 weeks- but, you should try to think of how to get yourself OUT of this sitch and cut the losses. The man you've been describing is not the one you fell in love with. You would be on my case if we were RL friends and you knew I was treated like this. You've done all you could. Now you need to let go. Don't try to make it right or do justice. There is no such thing there now. Let him be and protect yourself. Channel your anger to physical activities and pamper yourself. Take your time. Come to think of it, consider this your last effort to turn things around. Love ya K
Your H is being a knob. That's not a word I normally say, but I'm mad with him too (and Jeff's W, and Mishka's H today).
That aside, the information in the paperwork totally says that this is not about you. He's got himself into a panic and is trying to take action. Show the TAP he's done something.
I think the legal S is a good idea. And taking some time is a good idea too- decide what you really want to do. If you want your M, we will support you (and I think the TAP moving in with him can't hurt- he'll get fed up of her more quickly if she's ear-bashing him the whole time). And if you don't we'll support you too.
I'm so sorry things have come to this- honestly, knb is te oly wword I can think of. You're amazing- beautiful, strong, intelligent, empathetic, dedicated, loyal, loving, fun, sensitive. Most men would kill to have a woman like you by their side.
Well said Abbey and Lisa. I thought about your sitch some on my walk this morning. The conclusion I kept circling back to was "Let him go. Let him go without a fight. Fighting him will only make him dig his heels in further and make this harder on you in the long run."
Letting him go is not entirely giving up. A piece of paper legally filed is just that, a piece of paper. It's not our heart and soul. You know you love your H, but you love the one you married, not this one. Let this one go from your life and live happy.
((((((((Michelle)))))))))))
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
This is hilarious. My W did the exact same thing. Paid like $99 to buy "divorce papers" online, delivered them to me with an ultimatum to sign. I ran them by a lawyer friend and she just laughed. They didn't constitute a D at all. Thought about letting W file them.
I still think it's too easy to get a D in this country, but it's not that easy. Sorry WAS's :p
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
Well obviously I'm not gonna sign something that could potentially be used to later screw me out of $1250.
Also, he's been promising to finish splitting up the kitchen stuff since October. Considering I don't ever want to talk to him again, I really want to get everything taken care of ASAP.
I don't particularly care if he doesn't like my "demands". I am taking care of myself, regardless of what he does or doesn't want. Cuz I don't give a $h!t what he thinks.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I am so sorry you are going through this Michelle. I think your H's change of attitude is directly related to pressure from TAP. Don't let him bully you into anything. He can't even fill out the forms correctly!!! He will probably blame you for that too!
You sound like you are more into the anger stage today rather than the sad stage....which I think could be a good thing right now.
I can't believe he would miss his sister's graduation because you are going to be there. He continues to make bad choices and eventually he will see that HE is the cause of his problems.
Oh, Michelle, I just read the rest of your postings from yesterday. Your H is a tool. Sorry, but I have seen you work so hard, and he is just being a jerk. But, of course, we all have that potential in us.
Just remember, his attitude is not about you, its about him being a well a jerk. You are doing everything you can, and if he can't see that, well then it is his loss.
Of course, this doesn't help much, I know, because people have said it to me a million times too. But I think it takes getting a little angry, and realizing that you don't deserve this at all to make us feel better sometimes. And you don't deserve this at all.
(((Michelle)))
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
He is not going to see anything until he has nothing to blame me for anymore.
Just like he is blaming me for him choosing to leave officer candidate school, I am sure it will be my fault he is missing his sister's graduation. I am so sick of having a target painted on my heart.
He has gone too far.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
