Did I diappoint you

[Abbey]

Space is a good thing though Michelle. He's still in blame mode. You getting away from this and doing something physical is a good thing for YOU. Getting your blood pumping over something other than your alien abducted H is what the just what the doc would order. It's about you right now. Get excited about you, get excited about your life, your "stuff".

I think that's something we all need to do here... if we're excited about us,... it tends to attract people who'll also find us interesting, exciting etc. You also as others said here... stepping away... leaves him with the OW... and still unhappy. Then who's he going to rant on?

Call it plan B, call it going dark... or semi dark. I'm mixing DB with a little of that other "course" I'd mentioned before. It talks about working on you, like DB does... and basically becoming a person that only an idiot wouldn't want to be married to. It's somewhat about building one's own self esteem back up after being rejected, but it's also about being the premise that to attract "love", one has to feel intrigued by you and your life and your "stuff".

FWIW, I've teetered on filing for D in my own sitch - and where mine is concerned, it's friendly enough blah blah, but I just find being around him painful and I'm tired of reliving the death of the relationship day after day. I've taken my ring off. Taken down the photos of H. Detaching as much as I can one day at a time. As for the D... One day I feel like it, other days I know my heart is still firmly attached to H. We each go through that "that's it!", screw this!!! mode quite often I'd imagine. We're LS, with just a few small logistics to still deal with. But in my mind,... the person I now see ISN'T my H. He's gone. If I'm ever going to find the old H, the one I love, or discover a new H - one I can love... it's going to take a heck of a lot of time. Either way... I think you and I need to leave the old marriage behind now... and see what happens once you dissolve the emotional ties as well. Leave the door opened 1/4 of an inch... it's more than enough to keep a "future" possible and that little love flicker alive.

Does detaching that much that mean I and you and so many others don't still wake up crying in the middle of the night... or find tears rolling down our faces in the grocery store for no flippin' reason? Nope... still happens. Just means we need to be strong, ... stronger than we've ever needed to be. Strength comes now in taking care of YOU. It also places the onus back on the person who's put this crap on our laps... the WAS. Let them deal with the BS for a while. Let them go through their f'g process... it's the best thing you can do for you and him.

A radio guy signs off his program each day with:
Don't let anyone disturb your peace.

Abbey