My H was a good dad before...but he did become like yours when he entered MLC...like your H his relationship with his F was very strained to say the least (long story, history of abuse)...when my H moved out he promised to be there for son...was for a short time then H moved 2 hours away...and it was like he dropped off of the face of the earth...we rarely heard from him...months could go by with out a return call or email to son...school plays were missed and other milestones in S's life...it was very hard...sad thing is that H really believed that S was alright because he acted alright when he did see his dad...H also put on pretense to his own family that he was seeing S all the time...they had no idea...
The counselor I had advised me to stay out of relationships between H and kids...if he called/emailed and wanted me to tell the kids something I would invite him to tell them himself...his relationship was his responsibility...
I found out long after H's return home that he really didn't feel capable of being a F...that he felt like he was becoming his dad...it scared him...it depressed him...all part of the MLC syndrome...
So while your H wants contact I would do my best to encourage it...I would also look at how your own actions could be impacting your S...it maybe that there is no other way and this is a consequence of H's actions he will have to deal with...but sometimes in our own pain we seek short sighted solutions for ourself and don't really take that needed step back to look at the whole picture...we are emotional beings...it is pretty normal as women for us to do this...
I would encourage your H to make direct contact with S (he might be avoiding this out of guilt or inability to deal with his S's emtions)...be patient...be understanding...try not to assume too much...
