I'm not sure if anyone has kept up with my sitch, but to prevent this from going too long, I'll keep it to recent events only.
A few weeks ago, the W called me at work after I repeatedly tried to get in touch with her to speak to our S3. It ended badly with her telling me something along the lines of "All I asked you for was time and space, and since you didn't give it to me, we're WAAAAY past that now"
Basically, she was telling me that despite the things she repeatedly told me about there being ZERO chance of reconciliation, she WOULD have considered coming back had I left her completely alone. There's only one problem: we have a child together. It is simply not possible to go 100% dark.
Since that conversation 2 weeks ago, I have spoken to her twice....once for approx 3 minutes, and this afternoon for less than 2 minutes. Both conversations were about our son.
She is acting very, well, odd. Short, one-word answers and vague conversation, even concerning our child. When I tried to make arrangements for him, she refused to commit to anything. I told her I was bringing him to the doctor Monday, but that I knew she would be sleeping (due to her work schedule) and that if she wanted to know what the Dr. said to call me. She never did.
What I am trying to do is respond in kind: avoid ALL conversation with her unless I absolutely MUST speak to her. I'm not quite sure if this is what was meant in the book by "going dark" or not....or if my actions will be misinterpreted, but I dont really have a choice.
I am taking her actions and am basically mirroring them....she doesnt ever call, so I never call. She doesnt notify me when her schedule changes, so I don't notify her, etc.
Leaving her COMPLETELY alone is the only thing I have NOT tried yet, so I guess I'll give it a shot. I just keep getting this annoying feeling like I have to make up some stupid excuse to talk to her, and then I spend the next 2 hours fighting myself to NOT call.
Regardless, I'm fairly sure this is going to end in divorce, but I'm still maintaining a microscopic bit of hope...or at least that our divorce won't be a total mess that will end up with both or one of us in financial ruin for years to come.
Here's to trying to stay strong despite wanting desperately for this to just be finished...either way.
