Did I diappoint you

[MichelleLT]

Well he never bothered to contact me.

And I didn't contact him of course.

Had a nice chat with my mom.

Picked up the summary dissolution papers. Which aren't filled out properly. So you can damn well better believe I ain't signing them.

[Virtually_Handsome]

(((((Michelle)))))

He's not always the sharpest tool in the shed. Though if he goofs to your advantage, I'd be tempted to jump on it!

[MichelleLT]

No. He forgot to put his car as a community asset. He technically needs to buy out my 1/2 ownership.

And since he hasn't paid me the rest of the tax money, you can better believe I'm not just gonna sign something saying we've settled all our finances.

Matter of fact, I think the convo is going to go: I will sign them when you give me a cashier's check, get my name off your car, and give me the knives and the cast iron cookware you've been promising me since October.

[Virtually_Handsome]

He'll probably go for it.

((((Michelle))))

[MichelleLT]

Oh, and H isn't going to SIL's graduation because I'm going. He's gonna skip her college graduation because of his own stupid self-created drama. WTF, over?????

And the letter he included with the forms (which he didn't include the attachments by the way) PISSED ME OFF ROYALLY. He's blaming me for him dropping out of OCS, blaming my family for 90% of our problems (he says it's only 10% about us, and 90% about society and family expectations - which translates to he doesn't like my dad).

Then tried to tell me even when we've been dating I've been a nag and bossy. HIS PRIME EXAMPLE: "This last point was made quite clear when we were having sex and you told me to do whatever I wanted, that you wanted me to be happy. Not even something as simple as sex could be shared equally."

WTF????????????????????????????????????????? How is that me being a nag??????????????????????????????????

I AM SOOOOOO MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Sugar and Spice]

((((Michelle)))) this is soooooo not about you. You are getting along, then send OW an article and then BAM, hes pissed, shes on her way back and you are the bad guy. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out...TAP is on the rampage . I would be willing to bet this has a lot to do with her and its been long enough since she was here that your H has forgotten what an annoying pain in the a$$ she really is.

Don't take this personally, though how could you not. I think the thing that was posted earlier was very true. It wouldn't due to have TAP here and you show up...God forbid there be banging on the bedroom door at 5:45 a.m., though the neighbors may enjoy the floor show .

If he CHOOSES to miss the graduation, thats on him and something he can't ever get back...A$$hat! I like the disappearance suggestion. I would wait for him to contact me...period. If he is in such a rush to get this done, you will hear from him. If not then its pretty clear that he is still just up on the fence, swingin' in the wind.

The letter sounds like total BS and something that a kid would write to justify their actions, oh wait, thats right, just like most of our idiot WAS.

Take care of you, Michelle. You are amazing and deserve the world on a platter. I can't stress enough that this is not about you. Its a situation that you are being forced to deal with and from what you've posted, I am in awe of you. I can't tell you what to do, but maybe doing the LS is the way to go right now. Take the focus off of H and let him figure out that you aren't the problem after all. Sometimes it takes longer than others, but until you are not longer there to take the brunt of his bull$hit, he will just keep heaping it on. Like mine, its easier to blame you then figure out and fix the real problem.

As always, I am the blue-bird of happiness. Sent to your thread to make everything shiny and happy. Ok, how scary was that? Have fun at the graduation and remember, we are here for you no matter what you decide to do.
Corey

[MichelleLT]

I do not have time to do much of anything before I leave for annual training. I will deal with it after the 22nd. If he hasn't taken care of business, I will file a legal S to protect my finances.

If he wants this summary dissolution, he is going to have to give me some stuff in return for my signature.

If you thought that was good, you should read the rest of the letter. Ugh. Just thinking about it makes me

I am the blue-bird of happiness. Sent to your thread to make everything shiny and happy.

Well, you certainly made me smile!

I am going to bed. I will see you all tomorrow.

And in the words of Firefly fans everywhere.....shiny!

[Sugar and Spice]

(((Michelle))) in the meantime, take care of you. I don't think I would want to read it. It would probably just pi$$ me off.

H refuses to take personal responsibility for anything. Don't feed into it. This is his crap, let him wallow in it.

We're here for you.
Corey

Glad I could make you smile. Spit water on the keyboard, no. Well, we all have goals. Maybe tomorrow.

[mishka422]

Good morning Michelle!!!!!

I just caught up on last night's posts and I have to say that I'm SO PISSED at your H right now!!! What a complete jacka$$! To put that immature, candy a$$ed letter in with D papers that aren't even correct....what a loser!

I'm glad you're going to have this time away to cool down and let him cool off before you have to deal with him. He's missing his sister's college graduation???? Moron! His issue, not yours. He can't expect you to give up your extended family just because he's an idiot. His loss.

Hold your head high Michelle and walk proud. You are doing so well considering the amount of BS he is putting you through.

[Abbey]

Space is a good thing though Michelle. He's still in blame mode. You getting away from this and doing something physical is a good thing for YOU. Getting your blood pumping over something other than your alien abducted H is what the just what the doc would order. It's about you right now. Get excited about you, get excited about your life, your "stuff".

I think that's something we all need to do here... if we're excited about us,... it tends to attract people who'll also find us interesting, exciting etc. You also as others said here... stepping away... leaves him with the OW... and still unhappy. Then who's he going to rant on?

Call it plan B, call it going dark... or semi dark. I'm mixing DB with a little of that other "course" I'd mentioned before. It talks about working on you, like DB does... and basically becoming a person that only an idiot wouldn't want to be married to. It's somewhat about building one's own self esteem back up after being rejected, but it's also about being the premise that to attract "love", one has to feel intrigued by you and your life and your "stuff".

FWIW, I've teetered on filing for D in my own sitch - and where mine is concerned, it's friendly enough blah blah, but I just find being around him painful and I'm tired of reliving the death of the relationship day after day. I've taken my ring off. Taken down the photos of H. Detaching as much as I can one day at a time. As for the D... One day I feel like it, other days I know my heart is still firmly attached to H. We each go through that "that's it!", screw this!!! mode quite often I'd imagine. We're LS, with just a few small logistics to still deal with. But in my mind,... the person I now see ISN'T my H. He's gone. If I'm ever going to find the old H, the one I love, or discover a new H - one I can love... it's going to take a heck of a lot of time. Either way... I think you and I need to leave the old marriage behind now... and see what happens once you dissolve the emotional ties as well. Leave the door opened 1/4 of an inch... it's more than enough to keep a "future" possible and that little love flicker alive.

Does detaching that much that mean I and you and so many others don't still wake up crying in the middle of the night... or find tears rolling down our faces in the grocery store for no flippin' reason? Nope... still happens. Just means we need to be strong, ... stronger than we've ever needed to be. Strength comes now in taking care of YOU. It also places the onus back on the person who's put this crap on our laps... the WAS. Let them deal with the BS for a while. Let them go through their f'g process... it's the best thing you can do for you and him.

A radio guy signs off his program each day with:
Don't let anyone disturb your peace.

Abbey