It's very typical of the WAS to blame the LBS for anything they can. That's to be expected. It makes their position easier and it helps alleviate any guilt... and it helps them to justify the decisions they've made. Anything you do will be twisted "against you." For example, you've moved for your mental health, and to have family support, but he'll twist it to make it look like you've "stolen his child from him." That's pretty typical.
I would never say you are to blame in ANY way. I know in my pain, and in reaction to my Husband's A and D, I said and did things that unintentionally had negative effects on my kids...
Unfortunately, when a parent leaves and then a child goes through a move... that's a lot of change. Children tend to do better with consistency and security. I imagine your son feels like he has lost a lot; A parent, maybe neighborhood friends, the school he went to.... that's a lot of changes. His depression isn't surprising.
My son also went through this. Unfortunately, the best you can do is just try to give him plenty of time and attention. It would be nice if he could spend a lot of time with his father, but the distance will make it difficult. I've seen soo many dads who really loved their children slowly fade out of their lives over time. It destroys the kids, and I don't think the dad's want to go there. It's just something that happens over time as people go in different directions with their lives. I'm so sorry. I understand your pain. I've been there....
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
