Thank you, but it has taken me so long to get here. When I first found out about H's A, I was a complete mess. I did go out & get a job, find a babysitter and do the things I needed to do for my survival. But then it was very, very bad for a very, very long time. I didn't even start DBing until H moved out, over a year ago. I clawed my way out of a dark hole, with much, much backsliding. Don't feel bad about that - I think it's part of the process that is very hard to avoid.
I'm no expert on this stuff, but I really hope that you are taking care of yourself, physically and emotionally. It's the only way you can survive this.
Maybe he will choose not to come back, but if that's what he chooses, then that's the way it is to be. I remember something someone had written her on the BB's (and I apologize if I misquote her) - she said "It wasn't until I wasn't afraid to lose him, until I was able to let him go that he came back to me".
I know I'm strong enough to make it on my own. It HAS to be better than living the way I have for the past two years.
Good luck to you and your marriage.
FA
What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.
FA:43, H:42 D:7 M:10 yrs, T:24 yrs EA:?, PA:1/06 S:3/07 EA/PA ongoing Aborted attempt to move home 07/08
