I believe you are taking things out of context and to mean directives at you that do not exist. I am talking about a situation in general, about how we think of ourselves, and out thoughts about our roles and the situation....this is not about me picking on you.
I have no idea why you believe that we are not on good terms. Best of terms, maybe not, but then again I only have that with a handful of folks here, so nothing personal! It's a bit troubling that you make the statement, based on what? I have expressed my opinions, but I have never engaged in a brawl, conflict or drama from the boards. So, there is nothing to be sorry about - there simply is nothing!
Again, I am sad that my writing style was so poor that my point was out of context!
I know you meant your situation. I never said that you didn't. I was also trying to say, that we all think this, it's natural, and that your line of thinking is harmful for YOU too. Potentially. A person's line of thinking, that self-talk, is harmful or positive for THEM. Again, this is not pointing you out, rather making a point.
I never meant that you degrade OTHERS....rather (as I tried to clarify in the last post) that thinking this about YOURSELF is potentially degrading YOURSELF. Please understand the context. I'm not picking, but it's a point I want to make for all of us who go through this thinking about US and OUR situations. It's what we think of OURSELVES (again, I am not pointing to YOU).
So, that is to say, that for each of us, yes...we had faults and things we could have done better and things that may have pushed things in a direction. But this is a slippery slope, too. Because, on the other hand, those in the MLC camp also say that this was unavoidable. So, it's important to be careful what we tell ourselves so it's not so heavy on our shoulders.
I just don't want anyone, including YOU (yes, I am pointing you out here!!!), to take too much blame. Sure, you could have been, and should have been, more attentive and more stuff....but the ball was bouncing back and forth...in your W's court, too, and you know that. The choice on her actions, on how she reacted, was hers (and you pointed that out on another thread). So, don't be so hard on yourself.
So, let's keep it to the point, one that I hope resonates with others and one that I hope that I have finally articulated better than I apparently did before. Let's not make it personal. End of that.
