On the positive side he has reached number 2 in my goals - for me to receive the occasional text. I hate that I am always so negative on here, I think things just build up and patience is not a virtue of mine. Limbo is just so hard especially when everyone is telling me I am not in limbo and it is all over.
I think spending the weekend with two happy couples wasn't the best plan! I'm going to do something for me today to cheer myself up.
Hi Julia, I am a newcomer here. My sitch resembles yours & many others here. (My H left 10 months ago & has made no effort to contact me on his own. I too, did everything in the book wrong). My mum is the only one who asks about my marriage anymore. Sometimes, I don't know why I'm holdng on either. So all your feelings are natural. Just remember through all of this that you are learning, you are gaining knowledge about yourself and about relationships. And learning different methods to fight for your marriage and to make yourself a stronger person.
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
I've posted this on my newcomers thread too so sorry if you are reading it twice!
I just got a text from my h (he seems to wait a week and then text me either on a Sunday night or a Monday?!), it said
"Hello. I keep thinking about calling but I don't really know what to say. I hope you're ok and work is fine. I guess I'm wondering what we do next with the house etc. I am happy to deal with everything if that's what you'd prefer but I don't really know what you are thinking at the moment."
My thoughts at the moment are to maintain radio silence. This will be the first time that I won't have ever texted him back. But will he just think that is because I am trying to hold onto the house?
I actually have a pretty heavy week at work and it's my mother's birthday so have some nice things planned that will hopefully take my mind off things. I took JWS's advice and went out the house to forget, which really helped but just came back to that :-(
I hate this, it is so not what I want... and he just ruined my enjoyment of a really good TV programme!! -at least I can smile a bit :-)
Does anyone have any suggestions? I'd really appreciate everyone's input.
"Hi h, I'm ok thank you for asking. This isn't something that I am really happy about dealing with over text. You said that you weren't ready to meet yet so let me know when you are."
I think I kind of like that idea. It certainly isn't the kind of thing that should be done by text, seriously. I might change it a bit..."Hi h, I'm ok thank you for asking. This isn't something that I am really happy about dealing with over text. I'm ready to meet and talk about it when you are."
I probably wouldn't say that you're not feeling happy. I'd go with something more like.....
Hi H, I'm ok thank you for asking. I think this is something that would be much better to discuss face-to-face. Let me know when you'd be OK to do that and we can arrange something. J.
Argh, how annoying. I just accidentally sent my h a picture message of our cat that I took ages ago. I don't even know how I managed to send it but it'll look like I'm trying to stalk him sending it at 11 o'clock at night! (roll my eyes!)
Well, he sent me a message today asking to meet tomorrow. I had to say I couldn't because I have a work meeting in the evening so sent him my availability for the week - which is fairly limited. He hasn't responded yet. Now he'll get this random text from me. There is no point sending a follow up saying it was a mistake I suppose as it'll just make it into an issue.
I suppose in the grand scheme of things it is not a big deal, it's just very annoying!
Does anyone have any tips for my meeting? I'm already planning a subtly foxy outfit. Does anyone have any tips about how I should handle things? Obviously he wants to talk about the house...
