2 down 3 to go! NRT

[TwinDad]

And onto the present. The past is just that "past"

Great attitude!!!

If it is relationship that you are not comfortable then it is one that he shouldn't have and if it is one that he insists on having then you at the very least should be included in it fully. But realistically, he should respect your wishes. Of course being sep takes away a lot of leverage.

Also if she was keeping it from her H, then she obviously felt something more than just a friendship. I can't judge the women, mainly because I have regretably been in her shoes before, but I have learned enough to know just how damaging this whole thing can be to the R and M havnig recently been on your side of the "triangle". Needless to say I have learnt my lesson.

I know when I maintained my friendship, I would often maintain a negative view towards my R and M and was often confused during this time period. It is when I realized that if I put my effort of maintaining this friendship and put it towards my M, what a better position I woudl be in. Of course this is also when things started to go down hill so I am playing catch-up.

You will likely see an improvement in your R with your H if he stops having this friendship. She was likely meeting one of your H's needs that he need to get met and if you are willing to fill that void, you could see a nice improvement. Valentine had a nice post in the Midlife board with title 80/20 that kind of explains it a little bit.

I agree with addie, proceed with caution with regards to moving. It sounds like your H likes haveing you as the main person to take care of your D, but I wouldn't chance anything.