I think you should be united. I think you should go to your W and say, "I have been thinking about our discussion last night and maybe we both need to set D11 down and have a talk with her. We are both to blame for our M problems and we need to discuss that with her. What do you think? She will say either yes let's do it or no, I'm not being blamed, it's your fault..
I guess what I'm trying to say is you have to show your W that you want to do this for your D11 best interest..you don't want it to turn into a blame game or an R talk.
You have to be united for the child in this or it won't work. If either of you start the blame game then an R talk is on the way..your WAW will steer you into it. They can do it without even thinking about it cause they know us.
The D11 IC issue..you could say something like, W do you know if D11 has anyone to talk to about this situation now?? Like a friend, teacher, grandparent, etc..your W will probably say no, then just say, "do you think she may benefit from a few counseling sessions just so she could talk to someone?? D11 needs to be able to learn to channel her anger and feelings about this into something constructive and not take it out in some other way or on somebody. If W says yes, then say, I'll start looking for good counselors in the area and when I get a list together I'll let you know what I find and we can decide who to pick....
Man be careful here..Land mines everywhere..
These are just my opinions, it could mean backslide or could make you a hero in W's eyes..
Please don't hold me responsible for the carnage or fallout if it fails.
