EDITED--ADVERTISING IS NOT ALLOWED. you must comply with the Divorcebusting.com Board Rules if you would like to continue the privilege of posting here .
My H also likes to be secretive with cell phone, daytime, etc, but I know there is nothing going on. His "secrecy" issues date back to his childhood when he felt his mother was spying on him - which she was. I tried to talk to him about it but it didn't get me anywhere but to discover he'd thrown up higher walls.
Do know NOPkins? He posts on both boards. I think he might be away right now, but he might have some ideas for your sitch if you post to him in SSM.
Some other books I've been browsing (don't know if I mentioned them already)
EDITED--ADVERTISING IS NOT ALLOWED. see above edit
R's are just plain hard work. There is so much pursuing/distancing going on and outside influences wreaking havoc. Kudox to those that seem to make it work "most" of the time. We know no one makes it work all of the time.
Someone pointed out to me that by telling H I am unhappy, disapointed, etc, he feels he can't please me and shuts down or turns away, whereas if I can try and focus more on the good things he does then that will draw him to me as opposed to creating distance. I don't know if you do that, but I am definitely guilty of saying what I don't like and what I'm missing.
