Forgive me if you've answered this before, but have you asked him to go to counseling with you? Do you feel like you're at a place where you could bring it up to him and accept whatever his response might be?
Hugs...

me- 42
H- 51
married 11 years
D-9, S-9, D-3

bomb 4/07
h moved out 8/07
h moved back 4/08