Our MC told us that 60% of the arguments/problems in the house dont' really have a solution, you work with the other person to reach an agreement, which is something mr.b isnt' able to do.
Tennessee until he shows some respect towards her, why would she move? Cleaning the house she works and cares for the kids, he should also pitch in. Maybe he can do the kitchen floor or one of the bathrooms, that should help her to be able to keep the rest of the house in some order. He is OCD, which aggravates things, so things might not always be done by his standards, he should accept that. Cleaning the car is not a reason to disrespect a spouse nor a S reason, unless her car is filthy/unhealthy I dont' see a reason why this is even an issue. If the situations were reversed, should she be able to give him hell because his car is messy? no! Paying the bills on time something easy to take care of, perhaps try automatic payments if your gas/bill/phone lets you, also, online banking has helped me pay bills on time. Disciplining the kids another biggie in which both of them should talk and compromise. What should the punishments be? what should/shouldn't be tolerated? I know my stbx was irked that I let the kids stay up til very late, I did it because I worked and it was my way to have more time with them, I had no idea he resented me for that, after he came back I made sure they went to bed at 9pm on the dot. Perhaps ask his input about what are his expectations.
Perhaps that could be an opener "H, I understand that we have disagreements about disciplining the kids, can we talk about how best to deal with them? what do you thing about xyz....etc etc". Then go from there.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
