I think stubborn can be a good quality too, depending on how it is applied. For instance, look at yourself. Stubborn enough to stick it out thru the worst of what W has thrown at you.
Keep your chin up.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
It's been a rough ride today. Late night with company. D17 graduation. It is hard not to think of how this is all coming to an end. Made it pretty well till I came to work, too much time to think. Then W calls trying hard to info so we can "get this done". I know I'm doing the right thing, but why does it have to be such a rough ride?
Just tell her that you will "get this done" in your time, and the more she rushes you, the longer it will take. Don't let her control your life, Phoenix!
Congratulations on D17's graduation! Quite a milestone ... the first to graduate.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Dad's day was good and I had two meals made for me by D17. S15 was a bit of a pain, but ended up grilling the steak for dinner very well. W was her "normal" self, however she did make sure there was at least a card and a present from the kids. A lot of things said at church, I sure hope some of it hit home. But, I'm not holding my breath.
Just trying to keep myself going and not get into shut down mode. When I get overwhelmed I tend to do this. So far, so good. The longer I'm in this mess the more convinced I am that there are outside forces pushing this along. But, as you know, there's not much I could do to change that or W's view of it.
The kids and I did really well. That's the best I could hope for yesterday. Extremely worn out from this whole ordeal.
Hi Phoenix! I am glad that Father's Day wasn't a washout, that your W made some effort, as did D17 and eventually S15. I bet the younger ones were all over you. The messages from church can be lifting, but it can also be making your W feel guilty, and therefore, forcing her to justify and deny the guilt. So, don't put too much stock in that from your W's perspective. It's just good for you to hear, and to feed your spirit. (I used to wonder why my H couldn't hear all the spiritual messages at church, and this is what I figured ... he deafened himself to it, because it didn't fit into what was going on inside his head and heart.)
Yeah, try not to shut down ... at least, for the sake of the children. They will need you to be front and centre in their lives as much as possible.
Just remember that your W has her own free agency ... to do good or not. It is her choice, no matter the consequences. At the same time, you too have your free agency, and I am impressed at how well you have chosen .... you have done your best for your family, and maybe now it's time to let W go, and do what she feels she needs to do. I know how painful all this must be for you and the children. I can just imagine how worn out you must be. Do stuff to relax as much as you can.
Take care!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Doing about as good as I can. I guess what is a huge thing for me right now is the amazement of how someone can be so deceptive, off center and then try to encourage the Ks to follow the teachings. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I'm at least trying to practice what I preach.
Your right, I think it will be awhile before the teachings of the church have an effect on her. I met her in a time where she was diligently trying to make the best out of her life, now it's a matter of trying to live like the care free young adult. We all have our free agency.
I'm trying not to let this eat me up too much. I still try to be the easy going person that I am. The bitter outlook on life doesn't suit me too well. There are too many things too enjoy in life to let this eat me up.
The hard part is getting excited about making plans for the future, especially when you have been trying to fight this outcome for so long. However, I can't think of much I could have done better. I've also learned that when someone wants to make an excuse for what they are doing, it really doesn't matter what your doing, you will be portrayed as the heavy. There is some comfort in the fact that the kids are seeing through it.
There are too many things too enjoy in life to let this eat me up.
This is good to hear, Phoenix!
Your children sound like awesome spirits!
For the time being, try and live in the present .... the future is still fluid, and who knows what it will solidify into. Well, I guess HF has an inkling.
Hope you can have some fun over the summer. We may be coming down to Portland mid-July (myself, D15 and daughter's friend).
Thinking of ya!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
It is pretty amazing how the whole mote/beam concept works. I would be hanging on to my beam for dear life if I were making the choices she's making...couldn't live with myself if I didn't. Actually, I take that back. I've always been more of a hunt and eliminate the beam kind of girl. But we all have our path to walk...
You have such a great handle on your stewardship in all this. And it sounds as if you have raised/are raising some truly incredible kids.
You're in my prayers every day. (You too BeingMe.)
Thanks for keeping me in your prayers, Aud! I sure do need it.
How are you doing, Phoenix? Hope you had a good weekend.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Quite a milestone ... the first to graduate.
