Jen - great to have you back - I just posted on your thread.
Quote:
Maybe it would be wise to drop the R talks for a while. Maybe H doesn't bring them up because he knows you will. Just give him some time to approach the topic. Maybe he will after he's read some of the books.
Unfortunately I initiated R talk again last night (after a week of no talks) when some concerns popped up. A few days ago H told me he would be going away on an overnight trip to do some field work. He left this morning and will be back tomorrow night. Although I know OW is out doing field work for the summer, I "acted as if". Last night H told me he was also going away for the weekend to do field work/research. I started to feel very insecure again and I brought up my concerns when we went to bed. He reassured me that she wouldn't be there - that she's in a different town, that he's no longer involved with her and that I have to believe him. I told him I don't know what to believe anymore and I didn't stop there. I pointed out that we're not actively working on our issues, that the issues that led him to the A are still present and will not "just disappear". I questioned why he is back - is it because he was dumped, to fill a void, because he is lonely??? He didn't say much - only that he is not seeing her.
I hate feeling this way. I feel that he should be doing a lot more to provide me with reassurance. In his mind I should just trust him. Aarrgghh!!!
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
