Yes we have had R talks. I pressed her about him about three times after I found out she was talking to him but then on 4/25 it was bad because I found a VFW card in her wallet and I knew he was in the service and the only one who could have gotten it for her. I assumed they had been out for drinks, dinner and who knows what else. She said she had not and has not talked to him since she told him I knew and was going to work on our M. She also said that with me pushing so much it makes her want to talk to him. I knew I made a mistake first by snooping and second by confronting her. She still claimed they are just friends and nothing was between them but I don't want to play the fool.
After that I backed way off. Wanted to give her space and time to cool off. I needed to get ready for starting a business and getting my personal stuff in order because I have been at the same company for 23 years. I stated buying new clothes, golfing more, staying after my golf league and having a drink. Doing more scout stuff with my son.
Things don't seem to have improved much over the last month because I knew she was not very happy about me invading her privacy. On June 1st the day before I put in my resignation I had a talk with her. I did take responsibility for my action, my anger and for not being there for her when she needed me. I told her that she was not the reason for my unhappyness and that I should never of let her think it was her responsibility to make me happy it was mine. I also said if I had been more attuned to her needs she would not of had to go outside the M to find it.
She responded by saying she still has not talked to him and that some days she feels like connecting with me and others time she wants out but other than that I did all the talking.
As far as the new busniess , yes I have kept her informed. That is most of our conversations now. I do most of the talking because that is a 180 for me since she did most of it thoughout our M. It also helps me get a small amout of info from her. She has been very tight liped since 4/25.
I also have been really trying to pay attention. Looking into her eyes, turning off tv's and trying to repeat everything she says in my head so that I stay focused on her and nothing else.
I try and get her out alone when I can. The great thing about my kids is they don't like going out to eat often so when I say lets go out to eat with the kids most times they want to stay home and I get a date without it seeming like a date. And yes we are still in the same bed but I do not feel comfortable enough to snuggle up to her, I'm not sure this would be presuing or not. Thats why I have been moving to the couch in the morning. That seems to be when I am the weakest and want her the most.
