I have been trying to let H twist in the wind...I don't think he enjoys it much. He called me Friday night after work. I had referred a couple from out of town to the restaurant he works at.
He thanked me ....and then of course continued on with how he doesn't know what to do. How he tried to make himself happy but that didn't work. How all he did was make everyone else in his life miserable.
He continued on about his job. How I hate the hours he works. Etc. I tried to tell him that at this point it doesn't matter how I feel about his job as we are not together. I feel bad he misses out on all of the kids' activities but he will have to deal with it in the long run. Not me.
He is a very confused puppy. Several times I tried to get off the phone with him as I didn't want to get into any deep discussions or arguments. He kept going on and on about how he has noone, nothing and how miserable his life is. All he has is this job he loves.
I wish he would open his eyes and see that he could have us all if he really wanted to fix things. I guess he either doesn't know how or doesn't want to. Whatever.
He came over Saturday and brought lunch. I had to work and couldn't talk to him for long but I did mention to him that my dad offered to have someone open the pool and get chemicals and I would like to do that.
The pool is part of the kids' social life in the summer. And although they are at camp during the day, it is the nights and weekends that they truly enjoy it. He got really upset. Telling me how we can't afford it. How he will be asked to maintain it and if he doesn't maintain it he will look like the bad guy.
I told him that I was not looking for money or help. I was just informing him of this. If he wants to use the pool he is welcome to. I just feel like I can't take one more thing away from these children.
He cried and cried. About the relationship with his children that is deteriorating. About his life. About everything. I felt so bad and told him how much I missed him and cared. I then had to leave for work. D13 said he slept in my room until he had to leave for work.
Meanwhile, the signed papers for the house are ready for him to pick up. I did make some changes to them and left the disclosure for him to fill out. I will let his atty tell him where to find them. I don't think the house will sell anytime soon, but if it does....it is God's will. It will also be what totally destroys s16 and d13 and I wonder how the relationship with H will be repaired. I can only pray.
In my conversation with him I can hear the conflict and confusion going on inside him. I just pray in can be resolved but won't count on it. He is in a bad state. Destroyed relationships and can't figure out if he should or if he can repair them.
Anyway, busy week for me. D13 has games every night this week and a tourny this weekend. S16 is busy working as a lifeguard and teaching swimming.
The pool is being opened today. I pray I did the right thing in doing so. Once again I am sure H will complain that I never listen to him and his opinion doesn't matter. After that I hope he comes and enjoys the pool.
