Help me, I'm so hurt.

[AbbysDad]

Then I find out that W already saw "Kung Fu Panda", which we were already supposed to take D to. She said she'd see it again. But now I found out who she saw it with (OM is into martial arts). No way do I want her with us.

I really wish there was a way to have no contact with her.

[jandn]

There is if you have a schedule set with your daughter. Cut W off from everything. She is the one who chose to leave, let her go and dont rescue her when she needs help. If you have to, find a third party where you can drop D off and wont have to face W. I have been following along a bit, but kinda forgot some of the details.

When my W would come over and get on the computer, I was curious as to what was going on and would tell myself "no, im not going to look". W was not smart enough to log off and I found stuff I didnt want to see. Even told C about this and she kinda supported me in my sitch where W had D put on hold and had an idea of the lifestyle she was living so I wanted answers. L said yea, print that stuff off. So yea its not cool, but you just want to know but not do it either.

[AbbysDad]

I think one way I can avoid this is to pick up D from school each day. But its a couple towns over and with my SUV it'd cost me about $10 in gas a day. Really can't afford an extra $50 a week just to avoid W more. Maybe I'll try a couple times a week.

[iamlost]

Hi AbbysDad,

Speaking as a woman, OM sending pictures like that is HUGE sign of desperation on his part. Why "advertise" unless you have to? As my gramma warned me, "If the real deal isn't enough, then: people use a fisheye lens..."

[AbbysDad]

LOL,

I wish I could believe that. I know what she's doing and who's she doing it with. She's like a teen again. Oh well. I'm getting past it and I had her change her password. So I have no means of snooping as of now. Good for me!

[AbbysDad]

Okay.

I've been reading everyone's sitch and how well some are doing DBing. I'm not.

Today I announce (to myself mostly) that I'm going to do this 100%. I have been GALing but that's it.

I need to "really really" detach. I need to be friendly to W, but not start the convos.

I need to stop snooping or worrying about what she's doing because there is nothing I can do about it.

I need to focus on Abby and me, Abby and me and if I didn't mention Abby and me!

I vow to give this my all and whatever happens at the end I'll be better for it.

If I do backslide, I hope everyone here (whoever's following) will let me have it. I've got good advice here and haven't always followed it. I'm ready to go!

[Neilh23]

Abbysdad.....i feel your pain....we all backslide...we aren't perfect, don't try to be. It's hard to detach, when the woman you love with all of your heart doesnt want to be with you at the moment. I hope that thru this I can identify when I backslide (which, I'm getting better at doing!) and make efforts to correct them. I think you should shoot to do that too!

[AbbysDad]

First small test of the new me - passed. W called after work while Abby and I were out and about. I have some things to do tomorrow since I'm off, and W is always off Fridays so she called to figure out the schedule. I was cheery and even laughing while D was on the phone with her. We decided she'd pick Abby up at 10am. I said cool and then the quick "gotta go" and hung up.

It might have been cause i was feeling good. Great week at work, I'm down 40lbs since the beginning of the year so for now at least I'm feeling up!

[AbbysDad]

I'm sure people are reading and just not posting.

Today was tough...W didn't show up at 10 so I went to her place and she called while I on the way. I said "honestly, don't care if someone is there, but I have things to do." So I dropped off Abby. Meant some friends for lunch and then W came back after 1 to drop her. I got her housekey as well....don't like that she can just come in when I haven't even seen her place since she moved in.

We talked for a few minutes and then she said "Abby will probably tell you that I had a friend over" and Abby said "Ricky!". I was like cool. Honestly, i'm beyond it effecting me (at least in public) and I said "cool. well if you guys are dating, that's fine by me." She was like no, we are friends. I said "with benefits" and she said no.

I mean, F%$K....does she think I'm so stupid as to believe her. Fine, if she's with him so be it. I wish she'd just tell me. A lot of you are so lucky because your WAS at least tells you what's up. I've gotten space and one bried mention of "separation".....nothing at all. I still love her and I HATE her at the same time. I really wish I could pick up and leave town with Abby. Its not like my own family cares!!

Thanks to anyone who reads or comments. I'm off to see Kung Fu panda with the only person who matters!

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Fine, if she's with him so be it. I wish she'd just tell me.

Might as well wish for a pony while you are at it.

A lot of you are so lucky because your WAS at least tells you what's up.

Hrnmmm...

You think so? This is your bag to haul, don't go thinking other people have it easier, you'd be surprised.

Right now you don't need the sticks, but you also don't need the self pity.

AD, enjoy your daughter. Have a great Father's Day, and remember its Father's Day, not Husband Day...ok?