custody hearing on friday -- so scared

[NikB]

I didn't even go there. I just asked if I could say goodnight to d.

Good job not taking the bait.

You did for sure hear her in the background right?

he it literally acting like he's won. game over.

So what? The way he's acting doesn't matter (well it does, but not in the way you think - it's going to bite him in the a$$, I'm pretty sure).

I feel like he just wants to destroy me totally.

It's probably more about him - he wants what he envisions as the perfect life and you're a bump in the road (not that you ARE, but that seems to be his feeling). I don't think it's about destroying your life so much as getting everything and everyone out of his way.

I feel like every move I make in his presence in being monitered and wil be used against me.

Good job, because you're probably right. If that's what it takes to keep you acting calm cool and collected, go with it.

but why is it all about ME?? what about HIM???? breaking up the family, having affair, LEAVING us!!!

You lost me here... what do you mean it's all about you?

As I've said before, I doubt they much care about the A and who left when deciding custody. But I don't understand what you mean on the "all about you" thing.

so, if "lose" her during the week (school week), should I just go back to nyc?

Don't even think this way, OK? Be confident that you're a good Mom and will have her back very soon. Wait until after Friday to make your next decisions. It's not a terrible idea to "fantasize" about your future without your H, but don't "wish" your D out of it just yet. It's good to be confident that your life will go on - keep your focus on that as much as you can.

again, the one thing this has done for me is literally close any and all feelings (in the romantic sense) for h. yes, he is the father of my d, and I will always love him for that and he's been a good dad, for sure,

Glad to hear this first part. It tells me you care about yourself enough to protect yourself from him.

Good Dad? Good dads don't kidnap their child, keep her from their mother, then make Mom out to be a monster, all to avoid child support. I hope that he is taking good care of her while she is with him, but I really have to question that good dad thing. Not worth dwelling on it but I just wanted to mention it.