Keep your fingers crossed that we don't have rain this weekend. H is supposed to go on a fishing trip with a friend that is close to both of us, the exact same age as H, and whose own wife went thru BC a few years prior to me. I can't think of anyone that I would rather have him get away with! I pray for good weather because the fishing is out on the big lake, and they will not go if weather is bad. This trip just came together last night. Amazing how things work out, isn't it?
My H is a big, tall guy. Sometimes he will sleep on the living room sofa, but the one in the den is too small for him. If he is in the living room and I go up to the bedroom he will come up within an hour. He does seem to pursue me throughout the house. Night time seems to be the time his confusion/fears set in, and he initiates the painful and pointless venting. If I am sleeping in the den, there is no way he can join me. I want to make more of a point in distancing, so that he will miss me. I guess it really doesn’t matter where I end up sleeping in the house, I am just going to make a point of NOT being with him.
One of the things that he said this morning was that he feels like a young calf that has been cooped up in the barn all winter. (He was raised on a beef farm) He said he feels like he just needs to bust out, and run wild for a while. That seems very like what your wife said.
I did see a counselor during the period of our marriage that I did not feel in love with him. She was not very good and it was not solution based. I went because I felt like it was something I should be doing, and I can’t say that it really helped me much. It probably was more of a sounding board for some of the left over pain from my first M.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
