Is it time to quit?

[cat03]

it is easy to say "just leave him!" or "why are you hanging on?" whey one hasnt' gone through it. You have been with this person for so many years, it is worth a fight, so dont' listen to people who think you are not doing the right thing.
Ultimatums never really work. You can call him and acknowledge that you shouldnt' have give him that time frame (I can totally understand you though, 1 yr and a possible ow would make me loose patience too). "strong feelings" for ow are just that, a feeling--you've been his wife, the mother of his children for most of his life.

have you acknowledge your wrongdoings? have you changed what you think are the problems?
Let him know that you admit you have a part in the M falling apart, that you value your M, that you value him. Ask him if he'll be willing to start over as friends and go from there. I see that the clock is ticking about your retirement and that is a biggie, but at this point, him being under the gun has not made things better.

Tell him that no one knows what will happen, at any give point (funny, my stbx used that line a lot, what if this and that) that what you have now is the present and that the future is what you make of it.