Hope that's normal, because I feel that way too at times!
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I think that H being nice for a while and now turning cold again has hurt in a way that I didn't expect it to.
H's moods still affect mine, but that's normal. Think how far you have come. Its ok if it touches you still, it doesn't reduce you to a sobbing mess, does it? Progress. Stronger SueS.
You are doing everything right. Even if it feels wrong.