CL and Aud, Wonderful advice. Thanks. I am feeling a little better now. My anxiety really got bad for a few days there. I think it's because I stopped taking the ADs that I had went on a few years ago. Apparently, I wasnt' supposed to stop cold turkey. Anyway, I'm back on and I am feeling a difference. More in control.
I am still struggling with the anxiety and really trying to dig down and make peace with it. H is trying to be supportive, but he just doesn't understand it. In fact, he even said that I don't get panick attacks. I asked him what he thinks a panick attack is, and he said, "I don't know, but you don't have them". Frustrating. I've had them my whole life, and now that I have a label for them, he is discounting it. Whatever.
Frankly, when I'm in a really low place, i talk to my dad. I talk to H here and there and let him know where I'm struggling, but i really open up to my dad more. I feel safer that way.
H and I are at opposite ends of the spectrum. He is the most laid back, calm and non-anxious person you'll ever meet in your life. He literally doesn't worry about anything. I am the complete opposite. I worry, big time. This has gotten better over the past few years, but it is part of who I am. I am an anxious person and i get nervous a lot. Not h. I suppose in some ways, we balance each other out. But that part of him is why he had such a hard time with the A. He just followed his feelings and didn't "worry" about the consequences. He just figured that things would find a way of working out.
Anyway, I really appreciate your support. Just working through it one day at a time. Right now, controlling my anxiety is my top priority (aside from mothering my kids, of course). And while I don't intend to neglect my M by any means, I just need to focus on this right now.
Love you guys! Thanks!
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
