Worse before Better?

[Sophie]

Creed....I know! He's STILL all about him...It's so diappointing! I look so hard for something to believe in him about...something to curb my resentment.

I really don't think anything about me and the kis, our well being, etc, ever crosses his mind. Nothing has happened that I can't handle.

And, then again, he knows I can do almost anything. I am very independent, and... I can figure out how to handle things. I don't go to him. Period. I did today because I was feeling very anxious and angry. But, I gave him a chance to respond to my call and he did in a friendly and open manner.

So, I felt a bit better. He was so eager to tell me stuff that had been going on with him. I guess that is a good thing. And, I guess he went right to that becasue I basically had taken care of all that could be done with the AC problem for now. n

The tree that fell next door to him, has caused him to be without electricity since Friday...so, in a way, he is worse off than us. But, it bugs me that he didn't turn to us.

In the past, these same situations come up. Some very dangerous things have happened in his absence. I get so freaked out and angry and I have yelled at him for being so negligent and ignorant. I could ask for his help or to do something around here...but, and he would probably say okay. But, it may never actually get done.

He says I am always telling him what he doesn't do. He's right! It is hard for me to accept anything nice he does. I don't trust his motives. I don't know if he is coming or going.

I don't want to get hurt again like he did when he snubbed mother's day and my bday. I don't want to get back on the parallel life paths.

I don't want to squash any positive motion that may be going on with him in this job change. He sounds pretty upbeat about it.

Then again, this is another thing that comes before the kids and me. Transitioning to a new job is his escape now. And the kids and I have nothing to do with it.

I almost said we should celebrate, forgetting who I was talking to.

I didn't offer anything...and I definately did not bring up father's day.