Not sure where to go here!! HELP!!

[Augtan]

Thanks so much for responding. I need all the help I can get. I went and read your thread. A lot is the same, but of course different too.

I am not trying to save or fix my marriage at this point. I have been at this for 18+ months, but there are many factors keeping it from going to NC or dark because we still live together and also because I was the unaffectionate one and unloving one in the marriage and that is part of why he went else where. I had a near perfect husband that I took for granted way too much, so I am doing a little of the standard DB yet also letting him know that I do want to be affectionate and supportive and that I have changed.

It is a long, long 17 yr. story, as so many here are. I was the first one to have an EA, that was never a PA, with my high school boyfriend, but that was 5 yrs. ago and I thought we had put it behind us, but when his EA/PA came out, it all came out that he was never over what I did and was seeking love and attention that I didn't give him, his needs were not being met, and I don't mean sexually, that was great and not a problem until he started with the A. Anyway, I am not rushing into anything at all with the lawyer. I have been put thru hell the last 6 mo. in particular. He still lives here, still works everyday with the OW (even though as far as I know it is over). I just cannot take it anymore, I don't want to be roommates with my husband. I am too young to live in a loveless marriage. Yes, he might someday "snap out" of the MLC, but at what cost to my and my children's mental state? At what point do you say "enough" and move on? Dr. Phil always says that "kids would rather come from a broken home than live in a broken home" Right now, our home is broken and he won't leave. So, I feel I have no choice but to move home. He says he doesn't want to lose the kids, he just doesn't want me. I have had many slip-ups along the way too, via e-mail, phone, text etc. But, it is always in my face, and I just break sometimes. I have worked on GAL to some extent, but that was part of his complaint to begin with so I am afraid to go too far with that. HELP!!