I'm so sorry about your fathers health. What a blessing your family has in you.
I know what you mean about having 'pulled the bandaid off all at once'. I've thought the same thing too. But I just couldn't do it...and still can't do it.
I know I'm a different person than I was when this first started, and that is what is important to me right now. I might not like how my life feels right now, but have faith that in time it will improve and change...just like it's changed since the opening of this chapter of my life.
Because of having 2 sons, I decided to keep my married name. If I had had daughters instead, I'm not sure what I would have decided. Besides, I had that name longer than my maiden name, and it would feel very strange to go back to the pre-married name again. I guess I feel I paid the dues for the name, so why change now. It does get uncomfortable at times, when people try to 'place' me by asking if I'm related to 'so and so' in H's family. Just happened this last week, again. Someone asked if so and so was my FIL....all I could think of saying was 'was my FIL'.
I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to try to find time for your family, go to school, manage everything in your life. I hope you're excepting help if/when it's offered. Sounds like a grand idea going to Vegas!! My supervisor is going there with her 2 daughters next month, and is really looking forward to it. I've never been there...would love to someday.
I think you're probably right about my xhs motive for wanting to keep things 'quiet' about his change in the relationship. But really....how logical is that thinking? It's not like people won't find out and talk and ask questions. Maybe he just needs time to figure out how he's going to explain his change in feelings towards her. I'm hoping he has realized that he screwed up...but like you said, I may never know if that's what he's felt/is feeling. But I know I've prayed all this time that the blinders would come off, so I'm thinking just maybe they have slipped enough for him to realize some things.
I'm sorry you feel so separated from the board, but I do understand. There isn't much I can say to others here other than to support and try to show them that none of the situations are unique. I hate to think of never hearing from you again, so I hope in time you might visit once in awhile..like you did today..and just let me know how you're doing. You've always been such a great source of support to me, Mermaid. You're an amazingly loving and caring person.
Women are angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible
