Real live is....part 4!

[Puppy Dog Tails]

We get charged $50 for every 'oops' call the police have to make to our house due to an alarm issue.

So send your husband the bill.

[LL44]

Sara's husband has NO money to pay it. I was just thinking that it would be yet another thing that Sara would have to pay for. The fees have to be paid in order to do lots of things house related: refinancing, selling, etc.

I am in support of her setting it when he is supposed to be there, but only to set a boundary, not to 'mess' with him. Game playing gets so tiring.

[girlfromipanema]

That's one of the reason's I admire you so much, Sara. You ALWAYS take the high road.

I just HATE the things your husband has done to you (and it makes me want to wish bad things on him). Keep standing tall. You can always feel proud of the dignity you have displayed during this very unsettling time.

Hope things are going well.

[cat03]

he had the nerve to whine that he has no shoes / clothes and wanted YOU to provide for him??how about what's her name providing fo rhim?
you gotta be kidding! what a looser.
If it's going to cost you just let the alarm off. How long 'til the D is settled and he still able to come to the house?

[JeffSTL]

Hey Sara, its Jeff from St Louis

I'm still having modem problems hope to fix the problem this week (I'm not going dark on you - BD joke ) I'm still here for you, I'm still checking in on you

Starshyne: I am tired. Tired of playing the games, tired of being mean. Tired of him in general. I don't want to be that way anymore. I just want him to go away. I am not giving him the new code. The reason it changed was because he is not welcomed in this house while he openly and carelessly goes about having an affair.

I know the feeling, tired of waiting, tired of hoping, tired of wishing, tired of the pain and hurt. everyone here was trying to help me save my marriage (thanks everyone), they thought I was crazy, becasue all I wanted was my W out of the house. The only thing I had on my mind was end A or leave, there was no middle ground.

Remember Sara, I'm still thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.

We all have a long haul ahead of us good or bad it's the path we choose thats important.

M45
W41
M10 3/4 years
D9, D6, D6, S5
OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me
WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08

[karen43]

Like I said before. I am tired. Tired of playing the games, tired of being mean. Tired of him in general. I don't want to be that way anymore. I just want him to go away. I am not giving him the new code. The reason it changed was because he is not welcomed in this house while he openly and carelessly goes about having an affair. He is only in this house because legally he can be.

I feel like that sometimes too; I guess we all do. I like the way you are taking the high road as well. I have also tried to do that when possible, although it is tough sometimes. I think whatever you decide will be good; you seem like you are handling things well right now! Karen

[No Longer BH]

Sara, sorry I havent posted in the last couple of days. I was feeling down but got some good pick me up advise on my post.

Personally, I would not set the alarm for him trigger. IMO, it might just come back and bite you. As crappy as it is, your H does have a legal right to be there and if the alarm goes off, you may be the one stuck w the bill. What is it going to change anyway? Will it make him leave? No. It might make you feel better in the short run, but that's it. I say stay as busy as you can away from the house until H is forced to leave. It's really cruel how he is treating you, but I can tell you are getting so much stronger. This too will pass and then you will be in a happy place to find some one who is right for you.

Keep taking the high road becasue when it is all said and done, you will have nothing to feel bad about and he will be the one to carry the guilt.

[Starshyne]

Thanks everyone. I ended up deciding not to set the alarm. Brokenhearted you were thinking the same way I am thinking. It isn't going to change anything. He still is going to be in the house. Although I dont' think we get charged for an "oops." We had the cops out once on an accident and the fire department once and weren't charged.

H never did come right out and ask for the money, but I could tell that is what he was hoping. For me to say....here is some money! Not going to happen....ever.

I have been VERY straight forward with him. I said, "You are not welcomed in this house and the only reason why you are hear is because the law says you can." To this he said, "Well it must be the law for a reason." And I said, "Just because something is the law doesn't always make it right. Just ask Rosa Parks." He shut up really fast then because we had that conversation a million times in the past about how laws aren't always just.

Anyhow...things are going alright....

Thanks again for checking on me.

Sara S.

[LL44]

You are doing well. I love how you are straightforward and to the point with him. His arguments are so weak, he can't even back them up. He knows how wrong he is to be in the house at this point.

Stay strong. Have you actually filed, or just geared up to do so when you are ready?

[Starshyne]

I have filed. Paperwork should be ready by the end of this week.