Worse before Better?

[Sophie]

Hi...

A little update.

We have a two story; an AC unit for each. It's record temps with 90+ humidity here in Va. this week. I don't mind the heat...and I keep the AC low.

But...I think the storm zapped the unit outside for the upstairs...where the bedrooms are. It was 95 in the bedrooms last night, so the kids slept downstairs on the floor.

I had to call H....

My first reaction when things like this happen is to freak...mostly about money...and then not knowing how bad the situation is.

I can take care of this myself, I was a home owner before I met my H.

But, I didn't want to deal with it alone...and wasn't sure if there was something I could do...anyway...maybe I caved but...

9pm last night I sent a text 'the AC doesn't work'

No reply

10:15pm I called. No answer.

I went to sleep and decided to take care of it myself.

This morning after the kids were on the bus and I was up and about I notice a text.

He said 'did you find out what was wrong, and did you call anyone?'

I had called, and I had it worked out...although no one can get here until Thursday..when the heat wave breaks

After I had all arrangements made I called to tell him.

H answered...

After I updated him on the AC situation he just started telling me about the tree that fell on his neighbors house. My H was standing on his porch and watch the tree fall. He said if it feel 90 degrees to the right, it would have it him!

H said the tree fell on the electical lines to the two houses and he has been without power since Friday noon. H said he's been staying with the man, who has been his cohort since he moved out,...the one my H says is a 'loser'...

H is in his last week of the job that he finally quit and was busy all weekend packing things and he said he had to move the catsup and mustard from his house refrig...kind of funny, he isn't TOO into keeping up the house with food...

I asked if he was going to help pay for the AC..he sort of laughed but said he'd do what he could. I said I'd split it with him and he agreed. He said 'let's find out what's wrong and how much it is first...and we'll figure something out'.

H admits he doesn't have much money but that he must, and will pay the important stuff like health insurance and mortgage..etc.

I'm getting better at withholding the obvious that he should move home....I didn't say anything about him coming home.

I did allude to my main focus right now to obtain (legal) financial security... I just said, 'I need financial stability'.

His response bugged me. He said 'Wouldn't we all like that?!'

I said 'I've always worked to have financial stability....'...and bit my tongue from adding, 'until you moved out!"

He said again, 'We'll figure something out...and let's see what the AC repair has to say'

I said okay and thanks.

He said, 'stay cool'...

So many other things were going through my head...but, I let it go.

And here I am.

Resentment takes a lot of energy....I do not want to get back on the 'parallel train' with his!! I've been in that gray area for 3 years! How can I tell the difference between a reconnection and cake eatting?