Christa, I am sorry to hear about your friend. Your H didn't have to let you know about it so that is a good thing.
On a side note, your H has been in contact with you now twice in the past few days, I know you are wanting to send the inlaws an apology letter, the sooner the better. The reason I say this is it appears to me your H is showing signs of coming around and contacting you, if you let this go for too long and the contact starts happening more often, the letter to the inlaws can be percieved as your way of getting him back. If you send it when there is little contact as is the case right now, the feelings will not be percieved as strongly that way. JMHO.
Keep doing what you are doing, I know it has been hard on you not seeing or communicating with H, things are looking better so you are doing something right.
