Not sure where to go here!! HELP!!

[Augtan]

I am not sure if I should be here or at MLC since both has happened. MLC is still in full swing, but the affair is over. Dday was 7/6/07, so almost a year (not sure if people use Dday here, but it means discovery of the affair day). Anyway, we immediately went to couples therapy, she told us to seperate after about a month due to my anger and pain, so he moved out for a few months. At Christmas time he moved back in, but his attitude was not good. He is very depressed, says all the things listed in the MLC section of the book. Still says all these things, he isn't in love with me, we aren't compatible, I have too much anger over what he did, etc. I have tried everything. I went to a lawyer and am filing for divorce this week. I don't know what else to do. He will not move out of our house, says he has no where to go and would be happy just living in the basement and raising the kids together, but not be "together". I cannot do that, I want love and a marriage. If I go thru with the divorce, I am going to take the kids and move to my hometown, 500 miles away. I will need the support and such of my family. I don't want to do this, but I see no other option. He was horrible to me during the 8 mo. affair, so really I have been dealing with this for over 18 months. I have tried most of the stuff, but nothing for very long. He goes out every weekend either alone or to play poker, he drinks way too much, and won't respond to anything. I cannot afford the phone consolutations, I have spent too much on therapy already, before I found this site. I want to find someone else, I want to be happy, I want to be loved. He tells me I was never happy with him and never will be.

M-37
H-41
DD-15
DS-12
DD-9
Together- almost 20 yrs.
Married-almost 17 yrs.