Pregnant and trying to be stronger

[NikB]

Ok, DBing says no expectations, but your pregnant for gods sake! <snip> Its way way too early to try and lose your expectations and your feelings and doing things for you and all that stuff.

Ali - I totally understand what you're saying. The thing is, every time you have expectations, you set yourself up to get hurt even worse. Losing the expectations is so critical. When you learn to expect absolutely nothing beyond what the law requires, you allow yourself to hurt LESS. And, when good things DO happen, you can appreciate them more.

B is already spending her Monday upset about her H not doing anything for her birthday - which hasn't even happened yet! Don't expect the best - OR the worst. Expect nothing. Then if you get something, cool. If you don't - oh well. I know it's easier said than done, but the only thing that seemed to work for me was practice. If you (meaning you in general, not you specifically ) constantly work on catching yourself having expectations and then DROP them, it becomes easier and easier over time.

Losing the feelings - well, that's a whole other story and I agree, it's probably too early for that. I think it happens very slowly over time. I know that even though I was able to detach pretty well and not let them effect me so much, I never lost a lot of those feelings while H and I were separated.

Its cruel and unfair and we all feel for you.

Totally agreed!!

And, here I am just trying to pick up the pieces of my broken heart, my broken marriage and my broken family - all by myself.

B - this is where a support system of friends/family is so critical. You can't do it with H, but you sure don't have to do everything all by yourself. We're all here for you, and I know you have people in your "real" life that are too.

[quote]I'm just feeling overwhelmed. [/b]

I bet this is totally normal for ALL new moms/"about to be" moms. And that much moreso given your sitch. Do you have other pregnant women that you've become friends with? Or new moms? I was thinking talking to them about the "overwhelmed" stuff might be helpful.

((((B)))))

Glad you have C tonight - hope that it goes well.