Yup. I'm trying. I know that I have a lot of positives going within this mess. I have to keep reminding myself of them so I don't get down and only focus on the negative.
When his new cell bill came I actually felt a relief that I couldn't open it and look. I figure I will do everything that I can, keep my faith, and it will work out the way it is supposed to. I can't believe that God will allow us to be divorced.
Until I found the DB book and this board I was going crazy trying to make logic out of his behavior. Now, the crazier that he gets, the calmer and more "sane" I feel.
It sure is funny though, I know that he would HATE it if I were doing the very things that he is.
At one point on Saturday I told him that I knew that his love for me could come back, to trust me that I knew you could fall in, out and back in love. On Sunday morning we were out in the yard working and he came up and asked if I had ever fallen out of love with him. He was shocked when I told him yes. He asked when it had been, and when I told him it was about 3 years into our marriage he just repeated that and walked away. He seemed very surprised.
So, I know that he is listening and thinking about some of the things that I say. I just have to stay focused on good DB and positive things.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
