I think it is interesting that your xh is trying to hide the change in the relationship. I think that he is at least starting to realize that he has really messed up but he is not ready to admit it. He may never be ready.
My h is in that place. I can tell he misses his children and he knows that he messed up. He is not at a place where he can come out and say so and like I said I am not sure he will ever be. I do think he is trying to make it work with ow because he knows there really is no chance with me.
We decided to sell our rental property. It hurt a little because it was h and I's first home. There was so much hope and promise when we bought that place. He seems to have no emotion. In fact, he now seems in a hurry. I did wonder why. I know it is time to get all of the legal stuff out of the way. I want my own name back. I don't feel like I am a Mrs. h anymore. In fact I feel like I have no name. By the time I become a teacher I want my own name back.
Well I have had some ups and downs. More downs than I thought I should have at this stage of things. But my dad has been in and out of hospitals. Right now he has staff infection and we have to clean and do his laundry daily. I also tend to beat myself up over some of the limitations I face being a single mother. I never play that single mother card but sometimes it is tough especially since I have had to take a part time job and it pretty much means I have to work weekends. So it does affect my children. So I go between wanting to try to work things our with h because I think life would be easier. Then I remember how much harder life was with him and I know he would have to do a lot of changing before I could even consider it.
Anyway things are okay right now. I am taking two courses during this summer and will be in full time in September. I am saving go to Europe in two years and my gfs and I are planning a trip to Vegas for our 40th bdays next year.
As for coming back to the board well the truth is I feel so far removed from the whole mlc thing that I am not sure I would be of any use. I am a bit jaded also. I think now that I would not have stood for so long. I know hindsight is 20/20 but I think I would have been a lot better healed if I had been a little stronger then. I know healing slowly is good too but I still think I should have pulled the band aid off all at once.
But I do trust in God and I know there is plan for my life.
