I know what you are saying. I thought I could fix my W or at least our R. Everything seemed so clear to me, but yet I couldn't get her to see my POV. I probably still can't. You are right it is extremely frustrating. I don't remember the exact circumstances leading up to your current sitch, but is it possible that he is having a MLC? I spend a good deal of time reading and posting over there (though my main one is in sep) and this sounds very similar. It wasn't until I started reading some of the threads over there that it started to click for me. It also helped me feel a little better. I don't know if you have checked out some of the reference links but that at least might shed some light on some portion of your sitch.
You are in my thoughts and I appologize if I have come off aggressive, it wasn't my intention and I have a lot of compassion for the pain you are feeling.
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
