Did I diappoint you

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

I have bruises on my face. I think I did it crying so hard!?! I didn't know that was possible.

Oh honey, I am so sorry! Yes, unfortunately it is possible to bruise your face from crying. Put cold compresses on you face to reduce the swelling. Keep your chin up, we love you and are here for you.

SMW

[FLTC]

Michelle,

I agree with you "staying in the drivers seat". Focus on your final NOT him. He's not your future. Getting this law degree IS. NiKB is correct. The court in not emotionally involved. He's not going to "drag" anyone anywhere. The court doesn't care about his opinion of you as a wife. He's delusional. One quick turn of the mirror by you, and he'd go up in flames anyway. Do what you want on your schedule.

In my last post to you, I said that he would not find happiness with some 21 year old, self-abuser, cutter. He volunteered for a deployment because of the "suck" back here to Iraq, which is even more pronouned if you've lived day after day at the precipice of death. It is a rush for some guys that nothing copmares too. He doesn't love the other woman either. she's not doing it for him either.

While I do think that PTSD is part of it, he is incredibly immature. Focus on you. Don't let him pull you into the vortex. You can't make him do anything. Don't let him have the option of doing that to you.

[MichelleLT]

Okay, very piecemeal. I don't remember who all said what.

He's not on active duty. He doesn't have an assigned chaplain. I don't know if the national guard will put a hold on court actions.

Yes, he's going back for the rush. Because nothing here made him feel that way. Unfortunately, I only see him coming out of this second deployment even more screwed up and immature. Maybe I'll be wrong, I hope I am, but I don't see it doing him any good.

I am trying to focus. Every time I think I am done crying though, something sets me off again.

This feels worse than the first time around. Worse than finding out about the A, worse than the first time he tried to bully me into signing the summary dissolution. It hurts more if that's even possible.

Oh, and I know that he has to pay his own costs and I have nothing to be embarrassed about. That's him projecting onto me. He is the one who doesn't talk about things in public, if you ask me something be prepared, because I'll answer it lol.

And also, his desperation is showing, because he is the one who is too broke to afford the fees, and he is the one who doesn't have time to go through court proceedings before he deploys.

[Virtually_Handsome]

Let's get through today, then we'll worry about tomorrow!

(((((((Michelle)))))))

[klm]

Let's get through today, then we'll worry about tomorrow!

I agree, try not to even think about this until tomorrow (I know, easier said than done)....but he is not worth screwing up on this exam.

but while as my husband you took first priority, even when you didn't feel like it, as my soon-to-be ex husband, you don't - school does

Bingo! Now do something to push it out of your mind and focus on your test. Worry about him tomorrow.

((((((((((Michelle))))))))))

[AliSuddenly]

Hey Michelle,
Its really cr*p, horrible horrible. I understand what you are saying that it hurts more than the first time even. It feels like a kick in the teeth. He has been a bit cruel, but like you said, his immaturity and desperation are showing. He is obviously very angry about something.

I'm so sorry that this has happened. I hope you manage to do a little bit of study and I am sure you will pass anyway. Dont stress it, noone cares about grades and stuff when you get out into the world of work, as long as you pass.

The other thing is, Mercury is going backwards right now, so whatver is decided/signed WHILST its going backwards can often turn out to need reversing. Wait until 4th July for a clearer picture, see if he stands by what he says then. Thats the only thing I can offer!

Ali xxx

[LolaL]

I dont understand the horoscope, can you tell me what the moon rising in scorpio means?

(((Michelle)))...Honey...I hope you are feeling at least a little better. Just breath...and good luck on your final. I am sure you will do fabulous! Just remember you are smart and a wonderful and beautiful woman, and you can do this!!!

Lola

[MichelleLT]

If I drag this out, I think he'll only get more agitated/angry and worse, it'll give him a reason to direct it all at me - it makes me a very easy target for all his negative emotions if I "thwart" him on this. But I don't know if I can bring myself to sign the summary dissolution. I don't want a D. I want my REAL H back!!!

H's horoscope today seems completely off: "This morning you experience a time of inner and outer equanimity. You can stop and take stock of yourself without feeling completely caught up in the usual turmoil and rush of events. Even if your affairs are not going too smoothly, this influence will provide a breathing space. If you have been feeling harried, you now have at least a brief opportunity to take it easy. And if you are relaxed, you will feel even better now. Your relationships with groups and friends are quite good during this time. You are able to understand other people's needs without losing sight of your own desires for fulfillment. Opportunities may arise from unexpected corners that will improve your life in small ways at least. In general you will benefit from being out in the world today and having as much contact with others as possible."

Mine is no more accurate: "It is a good day for all kinds of enjoyable activity. Although this is not an especially energetic time, it is good for any work you have to do with others, because you create a spirit of camaraderie and togetherness, which makes the work go faster and more smoothly. If you need to make a good impression on others, this influence will assist you. But it is for recreation and pleasure that this influence is really at its best. You feel like having a good time, and almost anything you do will work out that way. It is especially good for amusing yourself with friends and having a party. This is also a good day for creative and craft projects. Not only do you have the physical energy for the work, you also have the creative ideas."

As for this class, yes, I plan on just passing. It's an elective, and from what I've seen it's easy to get a B in. That's frankly my only goal right now. I normally would be chasing down the higher grades, but I don't have the mental energy for that today. I feel, and look, like I've just been beat.

[girlfromipanema]

I'm really sorry things are the way they are for you. I think you should feel very good about your efforts to save your marriage. You've done all that you can. Someday your husband will realize what a good friend you've been.

((((((Michelle))))))

[jon2911]

And also, his desperation is showing, because he is the one who is too broke to afford the fees, and he is the one who doesn't have time to go through court proceedings before he deploys.

This is exactly right!

Michelle,
Don't even have time to read all of this, because I'm in training in Chicago.

I went through this 6 months ago with my W. So here ya go:

He's pissed because divorce isn't easy. Neither is legal separation. It doesn't happen overnight. None of his threats mean anything. He doesn't have the money to do anything anyway, just let him be miserable.

Get that studying done and finish your final!