Is his deployment in less than 90 days? If so, you CAN stall this further.
Contact the base chaplain. They will help you put things on halt. They will consider it pre-deployment stress. I know here, the base will stop all legal actions that fall within a 90 day time frame prior to and after a deployment, ESPECIALLY A divorce proceeding.
Calm down, worry about your final today, and deal with this crap tomorrow.
{{{{{Michelle}}}}}
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
I'm so sorry Michelle... can you do something physical to help you get your focus back? (that usually works for you right?)
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
He's being mean to push you into picking them up and making a decision.
I agree 100% percent.
(((((((Michelle)))))))
Wow, what an a$$. I can't believe of all days, that he would be doing it on this day. You know what? Actually, I can. Nothing these WAJerks say or do really surprise me anymore.
You've got your final this evening. Screw him and what he wants for now. At this moment, your future is your priority. Not that selfish man. Do whatever it is you gotta do to let go of the hurt for today. Like someone else suggested, get mad. Hit something, throw something. I've had to do that before (without my kids here of course), and I felt sooooo much better after that.
(((((((Michelle)))))))
PS - I reeeeeeeeeally don't like your H, or mine, right now.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
I'm so sorry that he is being so hard on you, the tone he is using, god he sounds so angry. He sounds irrational. I mean, you never didnt tell him where you live, so thats absurd. When he says...
Quote:
since you have made sure I don't know where you live. Then there will be forms you will be required to fill out and sign in front of a judge. And since you are making the big bucks I'll do my best to make sure you pay the fees that go along with all these forms. If you really want the public embassment, I'll do it. I'll drag you into a courtroom before a judge and explain why you were a poor wife.
I mean, its just plain nasty. I think your H has issus. You wouldnt talk to anyone this way, who hasnt hurt you (you havent hurt him) he sounds full of rage and resentments. And whats that "since you are making the big bucks".. thats awful, he is jealous of you and angry at himself it seems. His life is cr*ppy and he is lashing out. Who knows, maybe Slasher dumped him after you sent her that link and it made his blood boil.
I tried to say before that I think your H needs a tonne of T to get over his upbringing and that this is NOT about you, and his IMs here make me think that even more so. He sounds like an angry young man. I think you should stop getting angry back at him, just agree, just say ok, just let him go? I know you havent wanted to, but I dont see what choice you have.
And to be honest Michelle, I think we all agree, you deserve better sweetheart.
Ali xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
It is a bit amusing, Michelle! You are making the "Big Bucks" working retail to make ends meet? He is even resentful of you potential! He doesn't think a lot of himself, I think, so he has to tear you down. Oh, he makes me so mad!
I'm so sorry your H is being such an idiot. So thoughtlss and selfish. Reading what he's said it sounds like he's really angry aabout something, and I don't think it's you. I would imagine that he's under some pressure from OW and reacting to it, as well as thee deployment coming up. And he's obviously totally forgotten about your agreement to discuss this tomorrow too.
Phew, I feel like I need a deep breath. I hope you've had a few too. Go off IM, don't answer the phone. Somehow you need to find some focus for your test. I know that sounds facetious, but (and you know too), you need to get that out of the way. You can do it- you're so strong. We're all here to help however we can.
OK, secondly, and in relation to signing the papers etc., think about doing a 180 on this. I think that because H is reacting so strongly to your perceived 'stubborn-ness' (Grrr- this makes me mad, considering how he;s behaved over the past few weeks), you should do a 180-. so when he says you have nothing in common, say 'you know what, you're probably right. I don't know what we were thinking before'. Then he has nowhere to go with his line of argument. The only thing he'll be able to do is to dance the dance.
I don't know if that's good advice, but I guess it's something to think about after the finals. I'm really thinking of you Michelle. (((((((((((hugs))))))))))
L. xx
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart. And you'll never walk alone.
I will tell you this much, from my experience within the legal community (paralegal), most of the time the judge makes each pay own court costs. So don't let that worry you.
The offer stands if you want me to hold him down...right now he deserves a good swift kick...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
