Are you ready to jump?

[cat03]

hello my people))))))))))))))))

we had a great time I was able to keep the ice cream cake alive during the party. BL, can't believe you were out there on that heat! We stayed cool on sat we went to see Kun-Fu Panda, it was funny!!! highly recommend it. My son was so happy and had Legos up the wazoo at he end of the day.

I think, by God's grace, I'm able to work on my issues in a constructive/healing way, my problem now is..my kids, namely my son.

I have found myself getting upset with s10 too often and him getting punished often (no wii, no dessert) and me yelling at him for not listening.

He's your run of the mill 10yr old boy: does not want to get up on weekend to walk dog, thus dog poops in the house (every school day he does get up on his own so he can walk dog, have breakfast and get ready), doens't want to stop playing his his legos when I call him, agues with d5 (though she asks for it most of the time) etc etc. But overall he is a very good boy who helps me watch his sister and is considerate most of the time.
I realized that even with stbx home back then, these things were always an issue. But of course they are specially trying now and they bring me to near tears. On a very very rare occurrence I called stbx on sat. morning to scold s10 for fighting with d5. Stbx works all night and sleeps during the day, too late I realized this and sent a txt later saying sorry for calling, I never do that.

I think I need to get a good book about parenting alone. I dont' want to yell at him I just get so frustrated somedays it takes all my energy not to smack him sometimes. I dont' hit my kids, spanking is the worst I do and that is the last resort. Any help appreciated :\

[Committed2Him]

cat,

We had a great speaker on this topic in recent weeks. I'll get the info. My kids are older so I didn't get the book but I KNOW it will help!

praise God for your weekend!

Gotta hit the traffic, it will work out, you'll see.

[HalfMissing]

"Positive discipline for Single Parents" by Nelson, Erwin, and Delzer

(I don't know if any of you remember me. I still lurk sometimes.)

I am also having a lot of discipline problems with my children now. I am the bad guy and my ex has sabotaged my authority with them. I am starting both children with individual counselors so I hope that helps. The book I mentioned has also been helpful. I implemented the family meetings that they recommend and I think it is helping. Good luck!

[cat03]

thanks guys!
It was a good weekend over all, my family all around, thank God indeed C2H. I had invited a cousin who we barely see, she is a single mom to a 7yr old, her dad is a total grouch who stopped talking to her when she was prego (he was D from her mom). Her mom lives with her and she fends for herself, her only brother was killed in jail and her mom must be menaupausing or something because she makes life hard for her at times. She never got be married nor had all the memories i have of having a family, a partner, a Christmas morn or vacations as a family. Then I realized how blessed I am, I got to enjoy that, and I have sisters and my brother who would do anything for me. The rest of the extended family is trying to include her into family gatherings, she is pretty shy.

Sorry to hear that HalfM, that's exactly what happened to someone in my family too, the mom contradicted the dad at all costs after the D making his life hard (well, he was no peach but that is so ridiculous!)
Hope you get good Cs for your kids, you got one wise 8yr old

[Reincarnated]

Cat--
Just checking in on you. I hear you about the frustrationss of disciplining kids alone. It was so much easier with 2; when one of us got too hot, the other could step in.

What I find works is putting myself into a time out when I am getting really frustrated. We also talk about issues when they are not happening right at that moment, and keep the talks really short and to the point (like when my S lashes out in anger at his sister--he sounds just scary-mean! I recorded it once and he was surprised and sorry--that has helped).

I'll try to think of some more ideas....

[cat03]

thanks Donna :), as the kids grow older the dynamic change and I'm just not used to s10 new found "resistance" stand.
Keeping it short is great idea, thanks, I tend to go on and on and prob loose the point as I keep drilling in on him.

[BethM]

Hey cat!!!

You're sounding good. I'll tell ya, being a single parent is tough. I was lucky in that when my kids were at the ages of yours and Donna's I still had a husband and even then there were times when I wasn't sure one of us would live to see another day. Kids can just wear you down! Sorry to say but you still have some very trying years ahead of you. That was a really clever of Donna to record her son for him to hear. I remember 1 times when we walked got distracted and left the camcorder running. Seeing later what we had recorded was really upsetting. You just don't realize how many times you beg, plead and threaten your kids to behave, and how many times it can be done in an hour.

Even with all this I'd still rather be us. I can't even imagine walking away to be a part time parent, and I know I could never have lived with that.

Yes cat we're blessed alright!

Love,
Bethie

[Committed2Him]

cat,

Checking on the resource, spoke to a brother who bought the cd serries last night. I heard the speaker give his presentation at our church he was awesome. Josh McDowel also spoke on a different day BUT this other resource that I am getting for you was very direct and straight forward in his recommendations. I KNOW it will be something that will help.

Gotta hit the traffic and get to work (so I can pray for my friends)

[cat03]

Beth, yes, I guess for now it is the "easy" part, they are still physically smaller than me ,lol, s10 by 2inches, and spongebob still holds their interest. I'm glad I do have other family around and that kids do believe in Jesus and come to church with me.

Thanks C2H, your prayers are very welcomed

[Committed2Him]

Cat checking on that resource again, a brother has a CD but we've missed connecting on the author's name. sent him a text again re the info. If not, I'll go in another direction to get it.

How yas doing? your thread is looking a little neglected.