For the Guy with Kids and a WW4

[hopeful4her]

I know what I want to do. It is just the doing it or figuring how to get it accomplished.

WW and S got home last night. D's were still up. She bought a lot more stuff for D's to do this week. Painting, puzzles. New Airsoft rifle for S and a few more things. Not sure where the funds are coming from.

I tell kids goodnight. Seems like D6 asked her to sleep with her. She took D11's bed. Later, D11 sneeks in bed with me. She hasn't been in our bed since Friday.

This morning, I get up a little early. After shaving, I come out and WW is already up and looking for something to wear. I walk to kitchen to get coffee started and set up the ironing board. She comes with her clothes and tells me good morning. I tell her good morning. I am still being quiet to her. Not in an ugly way. Just staying to myself.

We go about our morning and we finish getting ready. I make my lunch and after making my coffee, go and sit on sofa like we used to. She makes her coffee and comes and sits with me. Small talk. A little chit chat. I am just kind of out of it. Trying to figure out what to talk about. Not the time to start a heavy discussion. She gets up and prepares to leave. She is waving good bye to me. I look at her. She says to have a good day. I pause and tell her the same. She goes to kiss kids goodbye. I stay on sofa. She gathers her things.

I look at her and tell her that we need to talk about things. She looks at me and says she has been waiting. I tell her maybe tonight after they get back from health club. If she is not to tired. She says ok.

She says be safe. I tell her the same.

I know I did not sound very confident. Trying to be strong. My voice was a little cracked. I need to be purposely stronger. At least showing to her. Tell her what I want.

Just not sure how to word what I want. I have been wanting to let her know that I understand her. Send her a copy smartcookie's post. I copied it some time last week. Opened my eyes a bit.

Again, suggestions on how I should come across at this point.