"The positive here is that I think you are beginning to see that it was NOT just the nightly partying together that made things good between you. You are now seeing positives in other areas as well - working around the house, visiting with friends, etc".
These points I still have a problem with. Yes, the nights out on the town are not as often, but I still feel there is too much alcohol and partying involved. Even the barbecue with friends was a "party" where we both over did it a bit. We will end a day at home together with some cocktails, or have a few drinks in the evening to relax....we both still have a tendency to over do it and even joke about who is the "bad influence" on the other.
I go back and forth with this all the time in regards to how she feels. I have been with her long enough to know that she is not doing, or saying anything she does not want to because of the drinking....but we all know what can happen when alcohol is involved...even with married adults.
Sometimes I feel a little distance that just melts away after a few drinks. I know I sometimes look forward to these times because they are so....uninhibited??? Like I said, I have struggled with this, and it probably has more to do with me being afraid to face the real issues than her, maybe not.
There are still some things being accomplished that need to be, but sometimes they can be put off for a day or evening of "fun"...and at this point, I still don't quite know which is more important. I know they both are important parts of this process, especially given that we went so long not doing much...it's just seems that neither one of is very good at dividing the time equally.
I want to be the one to say "enough" and surprise her with something that she has been waiting to see get done....but then I am the one to ask about a nice dinner out, or a show....or make dinner for her at home and buy a bottle of wine.....and as with so much this last couple of months...she always just goes along with whatever I bring up.
