ms ladybug SQUISHED!

[TwinDad]

Hey Lady Bug, Just catching up from the weekend. I'm sorry you didn't get the response you would have liked from your H but it sounds like the luncheon afterwards went well. I know it seems sad when you are just looking for any little sign of hope (like a making eye contact). But what you have to consider is that he is likely very guarded in what he is doing, so any little sign is likely a conscience decision.

Your H seems very frustrated and I think Dom is right, he is looking for validation and has felt unvalidated for a long period of time. He also said a lot of good things in the e-mail in that he must most upset because all of the stresses in y'alls life had an adverse impact on the ability to spend time with the people he loves the most (you and your children). It sounds like he wants a better life for all of you. I don't know how your day to day life was like so I am not looking to be judgemental.

His letter says to me he wants to be able to support his family in a place where there are good morals, little crime and where the cost of living is such that he doesn't have to work overtime and can spend the maximum time possible with his W and children.

I think you do have to make the first step and shwo him how you have made changes. Heartfelt changes, consitency and time will win this battle. Also, if he sees changes in you he will likely change as well. Just like you will backslide he will likely have some times were he becomes verbally abusive after he seems to get better.

I would even consider going to conseling on your own, bring that letter and see what the MC says about how you can show changes in your current sitch.

I don't think for a second that your M is over, despite what your H might say. Many people have heard those words over and over again and yet they reconcile. I have heard it myself several times in the last 6 months yet I have slept with my W for the last week. He is responding to you because he still cares!

We are here for you!