it never ceases to amaze me lately how much hurt we can inflict on another person because of love.
I so totally agree, especially when we don't love ourselves 1st.
RTL
Hi RTL-
I have been following along as always. Fabulous work on your part! The ... not loving ourselves 1st really was played into my ear by an 'entire orchestra' it seemed. That is the perpetual struggle that I am faced w/ due to W's complete absence of "real" love for herself.
I will leave you w/ a quote from my W which aptly describes the way she feels inside herself regarding trying to find the ingredients to be a thoughtful, loving and pleasing W to me. She once asked me this direct question,
"T, do you think that if you were confined to a life in a cave that you would be able to determine the weather outside that cave?"
She spoke this to me during a particularly stressed out and hostile time (of the multitude of those times) between us. On the spur of the moment and seeing the oportunity to respond in a humorous fashion (or so I thought), I said, "IDK, it would depend on whether the cave had internet access". Part of the reason why I responded in the smart a$$ which I did was because her question came out of the blue. We had been making an extremely long all night car trip on this particular ocassion and we were both spent and exhausted and we stopped for a 10:00PM bite to eat and then she decided to open up to me with that question after the previous hours in the car had been rather quiet while she ruminated.
