If you / Don't care for it

[Kalni]

I wish I had some solid advice to offer. I wish you loved him less because things would be so much easier.

I can't think of anything you should have done better or in a smarter way, at least the time I have been "following you". For whatever reason he refuses to "see".

What would you advise someone in your shoes? Take some deep breaths and think of your sitch. You will know what is the best thing to do when you calm down.

I am thinking of you.
K

[One Day]

Hey Michelle

(((((hugs))))) I'm not surprised you feel distracted. I think you're reacting really well- I'm sure if I was in your shoes I'd be screaming and wailing.

I don't know about finding the time to make more memories. it's so difficult, but reading your last two sentences, I had a thought. Would it be a 180 (or sorts) to just agree with H when he says you guys have nothing in common and that it won't ever work? I'm just thinking of a situation in DR where the H was really angry about something, so instead of trying to soothe him, his W got equally angry (maybe even more so), and her H reacted by calming down and soothing her. Perhaps agreeing with him and saying the same stuff back to your H might give him a bit of a jolt?

Just a thought.......I hope the studying is going OK.

L. xx

[AliSuddenly]

Hi Michelle,
I agree with Kalni, I cant see that you have put a foot wrong and he has behaved so inconsistently, you have done well to keep up with him. Its natural to blame yourself, but dont, this is his choice and I cant help thinking of the stuff you told us about his upbringing and how his Dad ran from woman to woman (but is settled now, but I guess the damage was done to your H in that that was the example of a R and the role model he grew up with). If you're looking for someone to blame, blame his Dad! Seriously, I think you have an upward battle having a committed R with your H until he faces up to that stuff and it could take him a few years?

I agree with Lisa also, agree with him as much as you can.. becuase he seems to have a perception of you as stubborn and not giving him what he wants, so give it to him...agree to the S, agree that you havent had much in common lately (because he wouldnt make the time to work on it perhaps). Are you still planning to see him Tuesday night was it?

We're all thinking of you,
Ali xxx

[jon2911]

Wow, what a bunch of bulls--t.

So, he just found out that he'll be deployed again? So he'll have to quit school again? And OW is coming back? No wonder he's stressed. And unfortunately he blames it on you.

I have some advice here, but now isn't the time. Forget about the Alien/jerk and get through that final.

[Virtually_Handsome]

I think he volunteered to be deployed again, but Michelle can straighten me out!

[mishka422]

I think you're right Jeff. That's what I read, he volunteered to be deployed! Talk about messed up!