Part IX: Things are Heating Up!

[AliSuddenly]

Well thats positive then!!! I was expecting you to say she was shutoff and angry again the next time you spoke, but in fact, she was still opening up and crying on your shoulder. I think you meant above that you offered to let her have D all through the holidays, to spend at her Dads with D, is that right? Or did you mean, you would have D, so she could go see her Dad? I was confused.

It think its a huge baby step that she poured out more to you on the phone. I left my (controlling, possessive and mildly abusive) partner after 4 1/2 years when I was younger but I still loved him and I was so angry and hurt that he was like that toward me and drove me to move out. But 6 months later, when my Grandad died, he was the first person I phoned and he came straight over and just held me. Becuase we still loved each other. If we had been older (I was 23) we could have sorted it out I think, but he refused to go for T, so we never did. Tragic! I wanted more than anything for him to fix it, but he couldnt step up.

So, from a womans point of view, the fact that she is turning to you when she feels vunerable is huge. I guess the point is, you have clarity now.. you never had that in the R because you could "get away" with you behaviour, until the day she threatened to leave, or got an OM and you had to face up to it ?

I hope that you can continue to be supportive and be her friend, whilst showing her that you are working on yourself. Are you still seeing the T?

Ali x