You have a communication gulf. He doesn't hear, or want to hear, what you say, and you don't hear, or want to hear, what he says. And you are locked in a power struggle. Right now, you are winning the power struggle, because he is not moving. So that must really bother him. I get the idea that he is the dominant male type.
You really need to learn to communicate effectively. To really listen to each other, and to put the information into a format that the other can listen to. Not the ranting that you got from him. But I don't know that what you say is presented any better. And I know he is not listening, because I saw the reaction to your last letter.
It seems to me the choices are to stay locked in this battle of wills, which no one will win, or agree to find a counselor who you can work with. And I know that you offered to go to counseling in your letter. So you have to wait for him to come back around to the conclusion that if he wants to get out of this repetitive argument, then he needs to go.
