I see. This is not just a marital problem, it is you putting the brakes on his desired move.
We moved from Louisiana to Florida almost 3 years ago. i thought I would be happy with the move. But I was not prepared for how unsettling it was. It was compounded by the fact that our La. house lost most of its roof 2 weeks later in Hurricane Katrina. So, while we were happy to be living in a house with a roof and air conditioning and electricity far away from the morass of problems of life in La., we also were traumatized by the problems we faced at a great distance. And we were hit with strong nostalgia for our home and New Orleans. We were here, but mentally we were still there for the at least the first 6 months.
And I have no friends here, just acquaintances. So I understand your reluctance. I had no family in either place, so that didn't make a difference to me.
Perhaps there is a compromise, if you can fix the marriage and then go. But perhaps there is no compromise possible. I don't know. The best thing is to find a good counselor and try to get help. You have young children. This decision will have ramifications for years to come.
