H has a right to his feelings...not that you have to agree with them... I would agree that telling his family was probably not the best course of action and if you feel it warranted you can appologize if he brings it up...otherwise...just be careful in the future...
Since you acknowledge that H is upset about the distance you have created by taking son away is it possible that you could move closer?...could he help you with expenses?...I can understand with gas prices how they are that being 2 hours away and making that drive could get expensive and tiring...
But I will admit...my H moved away...and rarely came to visit our S who was 9 when he left...most of the time I preferred it that way...but at the same time I felt bad for my son because he lost his dad...just like I lost my H...it is a hard road...do what you can to work on closing that gap...especially the ones that H is most upset with...this will show a spirit of cooperation on your part...without appearing manipulating...
And you are right...stop asking about his reactions to you...it is hard...but usually nothing good comes it for us...I know I went through this often...when we finally reconciled I was able to find out a lot more answers...and more honest ones...because he was blaming me a lot when he left when in fact it was his own internal anger that was really what was eating him...had very little to do with me...
