Pregnant and trying to be stronger

[blindsided1]

You're right Nik - time for a break from H and contact. I just find it so rude that he does that. he would do it our Lamaze classes and it was all I could do to stop myself from taking his phone and smashing it to little tiny pieces. I am having a bad day, today. I've been trying to keep busy. But, I am just so totally pissed off. He really has not done anything to help me. He built this storage space over the bathtub while I was at work one day. It was so big that it covered the tub and you couldn't use the nice jacuzzi tub we had upstairs in our room. When I got pregnant I asked him to please deconstruct it. "No problem" he said over and over. Finally, last week I just asked my brother to take it down. H asked me if I had installed the car seat, yet. I kindly reminded him that he said he would do it because I didn't think I could do it properly. He said, "why don't you just ask your brother?". So, I guess he doesn't feel any obligation to help with anything for the baby, much less for me. It makes me bitter to know that someone I love and who loved me doesn't give a sh!t anymore. He can't even put money in the account in a timely manner so I can buy groceries. It's times like these that hurt the most. When I realize how little he really cares about my wellbeing. These are the reasons I have a hard time forgiving. I just feel like he is hopeless. Nothing is ever going to make him grow up or put other people first - not unless he's getting something out of it. I think about all the times that I have helped him and taken care of him and he just takes and doesn't give back. I'm tired of giving to him.I'm tired of making his life easy. I'm sick of the fact that he has it so f'ing easy and all the people that put that have been there for him (his parents, me, my family) - we all get crapped on and used and then tossed aside. I'm sorry I'm complaining so much. I'm just feeling extra angry today. I just want to be over him. I just want to not hurt anymore.