Onward and upward

[mishka422]

Hey there all! I'm back from the boil and broil. I didn't do much broiling though. It was so hot that I couldn't stand to be outside more than a few minutes at a time. All the kids were in the pool so I didn't get in there until after 7pm when they got out and it was calm again. I say kids but I'm not talking little ones, I'm talking teenagers. All boys, all 16-19 years old. Heavens, when did 18-19 year olds start being so ripped? Ok, bad thought. I think the lack of sex is getting to my brain in a VERY bad way today! Oh well, it doesn't hurt to look!

Glam - thank you so much for your post. I am backing off completely now. I got my part out and he knows where I stand. What he decides to do with that is his issue now. He said that he knows if he came home it would never be the same. He's so stuck on that, he's convinced himself of it. The idea that it could be better than it ever was if he would come into it with an open mind and heart is completely beyond him.

I will not contact him for anything other than an emergency. I won't chat with him unless he initiates a chatty conversation. I won't bring up our R again at all. I asked for his forgiveness for my part and that was all I wanted to do. It was for me, not for him. I felt I needed to let go of that guilt and I have now.

He's on his own.

He told me that he is taking 2 weeks off starting the 20th because OW is having surgery. No idea what for. The first thought that popped into my head when he said that was that if I had to have surgery, who would take care of me? That's a really terrifying though. H would NEVER take time off to stay with me for any reason. I would have to be dying before he would have considered it. He would think it was a waste of vacation time. WTF??? That totally pissed me off!

It was interesting that he was contemplating coming home but he has done that twice before, came home and left again, and I won't let him do it again without building our R some first. I told him that working on our M didn't have to include his moving home. He could go live with a buddy or take a room in someone's house. He won't do that. So, as far as I'm concerned, there is no chance. He has to break everything off with OW before I would ever consider taking him back again. I've been down that road and I won't do it again. Not just for my sanity, but for my son. I can't let H do that to him again.